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Joke A Whenever Tuesday, December 12, 2017
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 One Liner
"How do you want to crash today?"
-- New Microsoft Slogan for Windows
Its Only A Joke...
10 words that don't exist, but should:

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability
to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least
a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it,
then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you
dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow
'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people
maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room
until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the
"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to
resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant
whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if
they want ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a
dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of
always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it
up, even when you're only six inches away.

2863


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