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Joke A Whenever Sunday, March 24, 2019
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 One Liner
"How do you want to crash today?"
-- New Microsoft Slogan for Windows
Its Only A Joke...
(1) Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of the
disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive.
Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

(2) Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal
particles may be removed by waving a powerful
magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metal shavings can be
removed with scouring powder and steel wool. When
waxing a diskette, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the
diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.

(3) Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big"
Diskettes may be folded and used in "Little" drives.

(4) Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall
off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate
mechanics of the drive.

(5) Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through a photo copy
machine. If your data is going to need to be backed
up, simply insert TWO diskettes into your drive. Whenever you update a
document, the data will be written onto both disks. A
handy tip for more legible backup copies: Keep a container of iron filings
at your desk. When you need to make two copies,
sprinkle iron filings liberally between the diskettes before inserting
them into the drive.

(6) Diskettes should not be removed or inserted from the drive while the
red light is on or flashing. Doing so could result in
smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally, the red light remains
flashing in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked"
state. If your system is hooking, you will probably need to insert a few
coins before being allowed to access the slot.

(7) If your diskette is full and needs more storage space, remove the disk
from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes.
This will pack the data enough (data compression) to allow for more
storage. Be sure to cover all openings with scotch tape to
prevent loss of data.

(8) Data access time may be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the
diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous
access points to the disk.

(9) Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs
from spreading.....

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