Snake Bite

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a red-bellied black snake.

His friend runs to town and finds a doctor. "Doctor, my friend was bitten by a snake! What do I do?" "Cut a small X over the bite, suck out the poison, and spit it out," says the doctor. The friend runs back to the victim, who asks, "What did the doctor say?" "He says you're gonna die."