Johnnie's Report Card

Did you hear what Little Johnnie has been up to lately?
The day before Valentine's Day, it turns out he was in looking around in the greeting card section at the local upscale variety store.
Yes, I was surprised too... Just think, our Little Johnnie gettin' a sweet little card for his little sweetie.
(*sniff*) Someone hand me a tissue...
Well, anyway, Johnnie had been there for a few moments, overwhelmed by the vast selection and perhaps showed some sign of frustration.
Just then, a clerk approached him and asked, "Just what is it you're looking for, young man? A Valentine's Day card for a special young lady? Perhaps one of our unique birthday greetings, or even a congratulatory card for one of your parents?" the zealous man asked.
By this time Johnnie had a rather glazed look in his eyes.
Refocusing, Johnnie said, "Look, mister, I don't need any of that sissy stuff! But ya got any that look like a blank report card?"