Medical Jokes

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Bedridden?

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" Af...

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Chasing the Dogs

An exhausted-looking man dragged himself into the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over...

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Childbirth Pain Demonstration

A woman goes to her doctor, who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doct...

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Coma Patient's Age

After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just cou...

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Doctor Ran Out of Anesthetic

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head ...

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Doctor's Advice

The old gentleman was aging more rapidly than he wanted. "Your gout is getting worse," said the doc...

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Doctor's Comment on Sharpness

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

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Doctor's Examination

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old crone, entered the doctor's office. "We have com...

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Doctor's Question about Children

This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

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Doctor's Question about Organ Donation

Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?

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Ears and Misunderstandings

A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a v...

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Eye Examination

"Medical Exam" A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone ...

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Forgetful Patient's Treatment

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the fi...

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Got Milk?

"Got Milk?" The young lady entered the doctor's office, carrying an infant. "Doctor," she explaine...

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Hospital Coffee

Jim was in a terrible wreck. He was taken to the hospital where he remained comatose for two weeks a...

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Hospital Jokes

Q. Who's the coolest guy at a hospital?

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Kentucky Jelly

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very...

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Memory Loss

An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist's office, running his hands through his hai...

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Painter's Eye and Doctor's Relief

There was a world-famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight. Fearf...

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Patient's Age Secret

Nurse: How old are you? Patient: None of your business. Nurse: But the doctor must know your age f...

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Teen Pregnancy and the Doctor's Observation

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the...

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The Elderly Patient's Breaths

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's...

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The Eye Exam

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty ...

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The Hiccups Cure

A woman went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minut...

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The Honda Farts

This guy went to the doctor and said to him "Doctor....I don't know what's wrong with me, but every ...

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The Pregnant Hiccups

A woman I know went to her Health Maintenance Organization. After about 15 minutes with one of the n...

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Too Many Patches

During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that...

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Wrong Cab

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff...