Pizza Tips, Flight Times, and School Jokes

"What's the usual tip?" a man growled when the college boy who delivered his pizza.

"Well," the student replied, "this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I'd be doing great."

"That so?" grunted the man. "In that case, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," the student said, "I'll put it in my college fund."

"By the way, what are you studying?"

"Applied psychology."

Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.

"The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.," a ticket agent said, "and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m."

"Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.

The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"

"No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off."

Teacher: Myron, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

Myron : Me!

Teacher: Frankie, why do you always get so dirty?

Frankie: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

Ellen : Hey Dad, can you write in the dark?

Father: I think so, honey. What do you want me to write?

Ellen : Your name on this report card.

Teacher: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. .

Stephen: Ah, you can't fool us, Teacher! Snakes don't have feet.