The Fearsome Pirate

The most fearsome pirate captain on the seven seas is sailing through the Bermuda Triangle when suddenly his first mate comes up next to him and says, "Sir, one of the King's ships has been sighted over the horizon. They're armed and we should be ready for battle."

The captain turns around and replies, "Aye, thank you, matey. Ready the cannons and bring me my red jacket."

The first mate is confused and asks the captain why he needs a red jacket. The captain replies, "Arr, if I am shot and the crew sees that I'm bleeding, they're liable to be afraid."

The first mate admires the captain's bravery, so he goes off to the captain's quarters to fetch his jacket. Once he comes above deck to find the captain, however, he realizes that just visible on the horizon is an enormous armada of ships—hundreds and hundreds of Royal Navy vessels coming towards them from every possible direction. They are completely surrounded.

The captain whispers to him:

"Aye, matey, find me brown pants."