The Onion Addict

I really like long story jokes that have crap punchlines at the end. Does anybody got any others?

There was once a kid called Adrian. Now, Adrian led quite a sheltered life—he lived with his family on an onion farm and had never ventured outside of his county. But Adrian managed to get a place at a prestigious university. He felt it would be ludicrous to turn down his place, despite the fact he knew for sure he would quickly get homesick. Sure enough, after a couple of days at university, he was fraught with homesickness. Adrian ended up getting into a habit of phoning his mum every few hours. After about a week of this, his mum eventually told Adrian that she would not answer the phone any more than once every fortnight. Adrian did not have a clue what to do. He was isolated in a new city and had been shut off from his family. Then, one day, he stumbled across a fruit & veg shop on the way to lectures. He went in and bought an onion. He ate it straight away. Raw. Suddenly, all the joyous memories of his parents' onion farm came flooding back. This was the start of a vicious downward spiral. The next day he went into the shop, bought three onions, and immediately ate them raw. The day after, five. The day after that, a whole bag! It got to the point where he reached an arrangement with the shop owner, Mr. Thomas, to have a special shipment come in weekly from his wholesaler. Mr. Thomas quickly became gravely concerned with Adrian's well-being, and his other customers were not amused at his onion stock levels. Adrian came into his shop each week, shivering and sweating out onion juice. It was almost as if Adrian was going cold turkey on heroin. As soon as Adrian sunk his teeth into an onion, euphoria would shoot through his veins. One afternoon Adrian, high on onion, demanded a larger supply. Mr. Thomas snapped and bellowed, "No. Adrian, this has gone too far. That's shallot!"