Writer's Block

There is a new kid on the sports desk of the college newspaper staff. Wanting to make a name for himself right away, he tells the sports editor he wants to do a story on what it's really like to play football. He'll put on the pads, strap on the helmet, actually practice with the team, and then write about it.

The sports editor is a bit skeptical but says he'll talk to the football coach. To his surprise, the coach gives it the okay. The coach gives the sportswriter one play to learn. He'll be the fullback who has to block on a running play. To make sure the kid doesn't get maimed, the coach has kindly inserted the second-string linebacker, the player the "fullback" will block.

The new kid is full of enthusiasm and is absolutely fearless. The second-string linebacker, however, is equally fearless and quite a bit bigger. He also figures putting this "fullback" in sportswriter heaven might get him more playing time, and he has his mind made up to do his best to decapitate the sportswriter.

After some warm-up drills, the team runs some plays. Finally, it's the writer's turn. The ball is snapped, and the sportswriter heads toward the linebacker full speed. Right at the instant that the linebacker launches himself toward the sportswriter, the element of fear enters the sportswriter's brain. Instead of hitting the linebacker with his pads chest-high, his knees buckle, and he falls at the linebacker's feet. He hits just enough of the linebacker's legs that, combined with the linebacker's inertia, the linebacker flips completely over and lands awkwardly. The team doctor rushes onto the field. Within minutes comes the diagnosis: separated shoulder, and with a month left in the season, his season is over.

Back at the newspaper office, the photographer spreads the word: the new kid blocked a linebacker so hard that he's out for the season. The new kid is a hero. The photographer has captured the event on film, and the sports editor realizes he's got a good package.

The sportswriter has a couple of days until his story is to run. The day before it is due, the sports editor asks for a preview but is told the story is still in the works. The next day, two hours before deadline, he is now getting a little nervous, and he asks again. Same answer. An hour before the deadline, the sports editor is in a panic.

"Where is the story?" he asks.

"I can't write it," said the sportswriter.

"Why not?" demands the editor.

"Writer's block."