AWOL Recruit's Explanation

"A.W.O.L."

As the sun rose over Parris Island, the senior drill
instructor realized that one of his recruits had gone
AWOL. A search party was dispatched immediately.
After a few hours, the recruit was discovered hiding
in some bushes. He was sent back to the base
and promptly escorted to the drill instructor's office.

The instructor asked the young recruit, "Why did
you go AWOL?"

The recruit replied, "My first day here, you issued
me a comb, and then proceeded to cut my hair off.
The second day you issued me a toothbrush and
sent me to the dentist - who proceeded to pull all
my teeth. The third day you issued me a jock strap,
and I wasn't about to stick around and find out what
would follow that, SIR."