Boat Safety Tips

When launching a boat, always back the boat into the water. Pulling the boat into the water can really mess up your carburetor.

While sinking to the bottom of a lake or ocean, screaming does not help.

When boating, always wear a swimsuit with suspenders. This makes it easier on the guys with the grappling hook when they're trying to retrieve your body.

Drowning can cause severe shortness of breath. And you don't even want to think about what it does to your complexion.

Always wear a life jacket in case you fall overboard. Also, it's a good idea to take along something to read, in case you're swallowed by a whale. Most whales seem to enjoy Moby Dick.

Boating while intoxicated is not illegal in some states, but it's stupid in all of them.