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Euphemisms for Bad Habits
He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.