Holiday Stress Test

The holidays aren't yet done, so here is a test to help you. You'll know you're experiencing holiday stress when...

- You can achieve a "runners high" by sitting up.

- The sun is too loud.

- You are missing several days from this week.

- Trees begin to chase you.

- You can see individual air molecules vibrating.

- You wonder if brewing is *really* a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.

- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you've said it before.

- You can hear mimes.

- Things become "very clear." Everything is "very clear, indeed."

- You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

- Your heart beats in 7/8 time.

- You and reality file for divorce.

- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you've said it before.

- It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

- You can travel without moving.

- Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

- You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.

- You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty tiff over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for a week.