Movie Academy Tour

Mr. Smith was touring the headquarters of the movie Academy one day when he saw a group of people staring at a screen, watching non-stop action and pyrotechnics. So he asked his guide, "What are those people watching?" and he was told that they were previewing A-Grade movies nominated for the awards. So, thinking how lucky they must be to watch good movies all day long, he went on.

Soon he came to a room with people weeping, and upon asking, he was told that they were watching the so-called B-grade clips, from more sentimental classics. Again he wished he was in their place, and he walked on.

The next room had people in it clutching at each other, as ominous music played and a voice which sounded like Hades with acute Bronchitis was speaking. He looked at his tour guide, and was told that these people were watching horror movies, the C-category movies. He wondered how much THOSE people were paid, and he went on.

This time he came upon a room with people watching unknown actors on cheap sets saying lines not fit to be on sellavision. These were the D-grade movies, but the Academy still had to entertain the nominations, he was told.

The last room he came upon had a largely black screen, with nothing whatsoever happening. Wondering who would even dare to make such movies, he asked his guide, upon which the guide looked at him incredulously and said, "those people are just watching the Eclipse!"