Traffic Lights and Other Jokes

Ray here: I figured out that, on average, you spend two days out of every year sitting at red lights. Why can't we all just have a national holiday over a weekend where everyone gets in their car, drives to the closest traffic light, and sits there all weekend long. Bring snacks. Blankets. Whatever. Then, at the end of the weekend, everyone gets a certificate so they can run the damned lights the rest of the year.

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong honey?"

"Mommy, where's my booger?"

Carl Rowen, the black reporter and columnist, tells about when he moved into an affluent white neighborhood years ago.

A few days after the move, he went out and mowed the lawn. The man next door (who didn't realize a black family had moved in) came over and said, "Hey, it looks like you're doing a good job. I need somebody good to mow my lawn too. How much are they paying you?"

Carl Rowen said, "They aren't paying me anything, but I get to sleep with the lady of the house."