Technology Jokes

💻

"G4" Macintosh Computers

"G4" Apple's new line of Macintosh Computers that make you say "Gee, that's four times faster than ...

💻

"GHZ" and the New Computer

"GHZ - pronounced GIGA-Hurts" The new physical / mental condition that occurs the "Nanosecond" after...

💻

"Hard Drive" Sales Tactic

"Hard Drive" The oft used sales tactic by commission based computer salesmen, commonly seen immedia...

💻

"Nanosecond" Computer Definition

"Nanosecond" The time it takes for your "State of the Art" computer to become obsolete.

💻

"Obsolete" Computer Definition

"Obsolete" The term describing any computer you have purchased. [NOTE: See Nanosecond]

💻

"State of the Art" Computer Definition

"State of the Art" Any computer you can't really afford and your wife does not want you to buy. [NOT...

💻

"Syntax Error" and Computer Purchase

"Syntax Error" Walking into any computer store and saying "Hello, I would like to buy the fastest c...

💻

AOL Misspellings

AOL REVENUE PLAN -- 5 CENT MISSPELLINGS In a brilliant marketing move, America On Line announced to...

💻

Check Disks

Customer: "I am getting an error on my computer" Tech Support: "What kind of error?" Customer: "It s...

💻

Computer Illiteracy

Customer: "I have Microword Soft." Customer: "Microwave Windows?" Customer: "Will this upgrade inc...

💻

Computer vs. Human Mistakes

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.

💻

Computerized Airliner

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew...

💻

E-Mail Commandments

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line. Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the m...

💻

Fax Machine Showdown

Once there was a man who prided himself on having all of the latest gadgets for his car. One day a y...

💻

Grandfather's Mole

My grandfather has recently started a course called "Computers for the Terrified." He's nearly eight...

💻

HTML Confusion

Catherine tells me that she was telling Judi about her exam as part of the hiring process for a new ...

💻

Husband's Frustration with a New Phone

Moonchild's husband called her at work on the new cordless phone (obviously the one that Judi finall...

💻

Incorrect Passwords

Some guy changed all his passwords to 'incorrect'.

💻

Kangaroos vs. Helicopters

The reuse of some object-oriented code has caused tactical headaches for Australia's armed forces. A...

💻

Landscape Navigator Problem

Tech: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "I seem to be having problems running my Landscape N...

💻

MS-DOS Confusion

While in art school, where we mostly worked with Amigas and Macs, a Spanish exchange student asked m...

💻

Microsoft Toaster

If toasters were made by Microsoft, then this would be the case: - *Every* time you bought a loaf of...

💻

Microsoft and Baby Gates

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Rory John Ga...

💻

More Meg

The place where a friend of mine works was going through the process of upgrading all of their compu...

💻

Obsolescence of Programs

Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

💻

Old Computer Terminology Joke

An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was ...

💻

PC IQ Level

"286" The typical IQ needed to understand any PC.

💻

Printer Help Desk Confusion

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "r...

💻

Secretary's Lotus

Ray here: I saw this tech story, but I decided to tell MY own story. We were looking to hire a secre...

💻

Software Engineering Glossary Joke

SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY OF PRODUCT TERMINOLOGY NEW: Different colors from the previous versio...

💻

Software Failure

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.

💻

Tech Customer Misunderstandings

Quickies: Customer: "I have Microword Soft." Customer: "Microwave Windows?" Customer: "Will this upg...

💻

The Mailbox

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, vivacious female neighbor came out of ...

💻

Ultimate Computer

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line. At which ...

💻

Y2K Joke

Y2K? Hell, I'm not afraid of it! My computer is working just grea.....

💻

Y2K Upgrade

- Don't worry -- we'll be putting out the Y2K upgrade next week.